Reader’s Request Fridays: More Bodywork
Welcome to Reader’s Request Fridays. As a reminder, I’ll be addressing one reader email per week, so if you have a specific question you’d like answered or a topic you’d like covered, please email me. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.
I recently heard back from reader Katie*, who originally wrote in asking for exercises to try to improve her relationship with her body. Katie requested more suggestions, and since this is such a huge topic, I agree that it necessitates more coverage. I’m happy to provide more exercises, but I also want to note that many of us have complex relationships with our bodies. While exercises can be useful and evocative, I highly recommend in-person therapy sessions if you are serious about understanding and improving your relationship with your body. For the meantime, here are some more ideas for ways to get started with examining your relationship with your body:
- Do something different with exercise. Exercise is one of the best recommendations I can give for improving your relationship with your body. Exercise requires you to pay more attention to your body, whether it’s from noticing your heart rate rise, feeling sweat on your skin, appreciating the strength of your muscles, or noticing which parts of your body feel tight. If you never exercise, start slow with easily-manageable goals, like walking twice a week for twenty minutes. If you’re a regular exerciser, try a new type of exercise. If you usually run, try weightlifting or pilates. If you do a lot of yoga, try a spin class or boxing. Different exercise methods engage your body in different ways.
- Stretch. This is a slight variation on exercise, with more of a focus on trying to work deep into your muscles. Try to set aside five minutes right when you wake up, or right before bed, to do slow, gentle stretching. You can look up stretching routines or yoga poses online if you don’t know what to do.
- Change your diet. Along with exercise, taking a look at your diet is one of the most profound ways to get in touch with your body. What you put into your body greatly affects how your body feels and operates. If your eating habits aren’t so great, start with small changes. Try to replace half of your white carbohydrates with whole grains. Eat meat one less time per week. Pick two days per week to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your meals. You can also try making big changes to your diet for short periods of time; for example, try going vegetarian for four days or try avoiding fast food for a week. See how your body responds to these changes.
- Look at your body. When you wake up every morning, spend one minute looking at your body in the mirror. Try to breathe slowly and deeply. Notice which parts of your body are harder to look at. See what sorts of thoughts or judgments come up.
- Touch your body. Set aside some quiet time to place your hands on your body. Try to cover every inch of your body slowly and carefully. Notice which areas of your body are more difficult to touch. Notice if any memories or sensations come up. Experiment with different types of touch. Try to see if there are certain parts of your body that seem to be craving touch.
- Have someone else touch your body. Try getting a massage, acupuncture, or chiropractic work. Having another person touch you can evoke vulnerability, but it can also help you feel held and taken care of. A trained body worker can also help you notice details about your body that you may not have noticed on your own. Respect your own boundaries around this, as having another person’s hands on your body can be a powerful experience.
- Draw or paint a picture of your body. Many of us get stuck in negative thoughts about our body. Using art and creativity engages our right brains, and forces us to think about our bodies in a different way.
- Create a timeline of your body. Note the dates of major injuries or illnesses. Indicate when you went through puberty, or any other time your body went through significant changes, including those you may have initiated through plastic surgery, diet, or exercise. Note if you developed eating disorders, skin picking, hair pulling, substance abuse, or obsessive exercising. Try to approximate the times when you started feeling self-conscious about certain parts of your body. Notice what feelings or memories get evoked by this exercise.
*Names have been changed for privacy