Using Lube For Better Sex
Lube is one of the most widely misunderstood sexual products, which makes me sad because I am such a proponent of it. Most people’s experience of lube is limited to KY-Jelly. This is unfortunate, because KY is a terrible lube (Sorry KY!). It’s goopy, sticky, and leaves a gross residue. The good news is that lube has come a long way in the last few years.
Another big misconception about lube is that you only need to use it when a woman doesn’t produce enough natural lubricant on her own. If you’re a woman who tends to get dry during sex, I absolutely recommend using lube. It will improve the quality of your experience immensely! However, using lube can be pleasurable even if you produce ample natural lubricant. Basically, there’s never a bad time for lube.
Here are some guidelines for picking a great lube:
Find the right type
There are 3 general categories of lube – silicone-based, water-based, and oil-based (listed in my order of preference).
Silicone-based lubes last longer and tend to feel silkier on the skin. They can sometimes stain sheets, so you do have to exercise a bit of caution. You should also not use silicone-based lubes with silicone toys.
Water-based lubes don’t stain, but they are not particularly long-lasting, and often require reapplication.
Oil-based lubes can be good for those with allergies, but they can be extremely messy and difficult to remove. They should not be used with latex condoms.
If you want to use lube during oral sex, stick with a flavored or edible lube. These lubes aren’t great for other uses, however.
Give it a test run
Go to a female-friendly sex shop to test out a variety of lubes and discover which one you like best.
You can also buy sampler packs of lube.
Know what to look for
When testing out a new lube, try it on your forearm. Rub it around and see how it feels on your skin. You’re looking for slick and silky, not sticky or greasy. You should be able to glide your fingers across your skin without noticing any tugging. A quality lube won’t dry up right away, and will leave your skin feeling moisturized. A few drops should go a long way.
Once you’ve found your lube soulmate, here are some suggestions for incorporating it into your sex life:
- Experiment with your new lube during masturbation first. Figure out how much you need to feel nice and slicked up without being too slippery. Notice how it changes the sensations of your touch.
- Practice the lost art of the hand job! Manual stimulation is vastly underrated, and lube makes the experience even more fun for both men and women alike. You can use different strokes than you can if you don’t use lube.
- Women can put a dab of lube on your clitoris during penetrative intercourse. Even if the clitoris isn’t being directly stimulated, the lube can create pleasurable sensations that can help you orgasm more easily.
- Lube is an absolute necessity for anal sex!
- Add a few drops of lube to the inside of a condom.
- Try out warming lubes. These products contain chemicals that warm the skin, pulling extra blood flow to the area. They’re not for everyone, but some of my clients report enjoying the added sensation.
- Experiment with desensitizing lubes, which can help men last longer and ease any sexual pain. They can sometimes create a numbing sensation in the vagina if used during penetrative intercourse, so be careful. Desensitizing lubes can work great for anal sex, when the numbing effect is good for both the penetrator and the penetratee.
- Use lube as massage oil. Spread it on your breasts and have your partner massage them, or rub your breasts all over your partner’s body. Use it on your back, feet, and thighs.
Have fun!