Something New For Date Night

July 16,2013

Feeling stuck in a rut when it comes to date night?

Tired of the same old dinner-and-a-movie? Or maybe you and your partner have been neglecting date night for months – or even years?

Here’s a fun idea for bringing the spark back to date night: buy a guidebook for the city in which you live.

San Francisco | Vanessa Marin Sex Therapy

Spend a few hours together reading through the book and circling things you’ve never done.

Possibilities might include museums, restaurants, walking tours, specialty shops, parks, monuments, sporting activities, historical sites, comedy events, musicals, plays, music venues, clubs, sporting events, day excursions, or wine tasting.

You could agree that both of you have to want to do the activity in order to add it to the list, or you can be playful and give each person one automatic addition (without needing the other’s approval) and one veto.

Write out the list, then pull up your calendar and find time to schedule each activity. You could try to tackle one a week or one a month, but try to find specific days that you know you could commit.

Some activities might require a little more planning than others, but the general idea is to try to make a plan with which you can reasonably follow through.

You may find yourself surprised by just how many things wind up on your list. Even if you have a cynical view of guidebooks, chances are there are more than a few hidden gems the editors have managed to track down.

And even if you’ve been in your city for years, or think you’ve done it all, there are probably still some things you missed.

I was recently stunned when a visiting friend mowed through an enviable list of fun activities in just a few short days. Much of what was on her list had been in the back of my mind for years, but I’d never gotten around to actually doing it.

I’d taken for granted that I have so many opportunities to try new and exciting things right in my backyard.

We can get comfortable with our city much in the same way we can get comfortable with our partners! We start settling for the known variables and developing our routines, and we stop pushing our boundaries and exploring.

Fortunately, this is an easily broken habit. All it takes is a commitment to prioritizing novelty, a little dash of creativity, and perhaps a willingness to be a bit silly sometimes. Have fun!