Last week I gave you an idea for talking about sex for the very first time with your partner.
This week, I want to give you an idea for your second conversation: talking to your partner about approaching your sex life as a team.
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I’m Xander – Vanessa’s husband.
I’ll be sharing four stories about communication struggles Vanessa has had with me, and how we’ve learned to deal with them as a couple.
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Just a quick reminder that TODAY is the last day to take advantage of my Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal!
If you purchase my brand new masterclass, How To Ask For What You Want In The Bedroom (And Even Know What You Want In The First Place!) for only $49, you’ll unlock a $100 discount that you can use on any of my online courses!
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“What do you want?” He asked me.
I cringed. I panicked. I pretended I hadn’t heard him.
Inside, I was thinking, “I have no freaking clue!”
But I would have been mortified to say that out loud. So I said nothing, and prayed he wouldn’t repeat the question…
I hate to admit it, but this little scene played itself out many times over many years. You see, I knew how to orgasm on my own, but for a very long time, I didn’t know how to get there with a partner.
With my very first partner, I did try to give instructions. I would ask for oral sex. I would ask him to move his hand a little to the right. I would ask for more pressure.
But if he did what I asked, and it didn’t immediately feel wildly more pleasurable than whatever he had been doing before my request, I would feel deeply self-conscious. I would feel like a failure. I would feel ashamed for having even asked him to do something for me in the first place.
I very quickly learned to stop asking for things in the bedroom.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was making an enormous mistake. A mistake that you’re probably making in your own sex life.
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If you’re like most people, asking for what you want in the bedroom is a big challenge for you. You might not even know what you want in the bedroom. You might not feel worthy of asking. You might be afraid of your partner’s reactions.
So I’ve put together a brand new masterclass to help make it easier!
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One of the most popular emails I ever wrote was called “Did you phub your partner last night? I did.” Phubbing is the term for when you snub your partner because you’re too distracted by your cell phone.
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Toys can bring a ton of pleasure and excitement into your solo and partnered s*x life. Theyre a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, whether you’re looking to treat yourself or surprise your partner.
Even if you’ve never considered them before, I highly recommend taking a look at this list.
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Communication is the backbone of all of our relationships, and it’s especially important when it comes to romantic relationships and sex.
But damn, communication is SO HARD!
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DatingAdvice.com recently did a profile on me and my business. Head on over here to check it out!
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