The Weekend Sexperiment: Sexual Resolutions

January 10,2014

Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in more Sexperiments, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a Sexploration Session.

This weekend’s Sexperiment is a simple one, in tune with the time of the year: Come up with five resolutions for your sex life and five concrete steps you can take to make those resolutions a reality. While most resolutions aren’t very enjoyable to follow-through with, making a resolution about sex should be a lot more fun to complete. Creating a specific step to get you going should also start to spark your creativity and excitement.

If you’re in a relationship, come up with three joint resolutions. In addition, each of you should do one personal resolution. If you’re single, come up with all five on your own. Try to make them as specific as possible, and frame them in positive language. Joke around a little, come up with some outlandish suggestions, and have fun with it!

Here are some ideas to get you started (resolution in bold, concrete step in italics):

• Be more present during sex. Read a few articles with presence-building exercises.

• Get more comfortable asking for what you want. Ask your partner for something low-risk, like a back rub.

• Learn how to orgasm. Purchase a book about orgasm and pleasure.

• Have date night once a week. Schedule your first date.

• Make your bedroom more sex-friendly. Buy new sheets or remove five pieces of clutter.

• Try something new once a month. Map out the next six months on the calendar.

• Talk to your kids more frequently about sex and relationships. Use a recent news story to open a dialogue.

• Experiment with a fantasy. Write out a script for how the fantasy would play out.

• Pamper yourself once a week. Plan what you’re going to do for yourself for the next four weeks.

• Develop a healthier relationship with your body. Sign up for a new exercise class.

• Try out a new sexual position. Buy a book about positions.

• Ask for help with improving your sex life. Schedule a sex therapy session! (you saw that one coming, didn’t you?)

Happy Sexperimenting!