The Weekend Sexperiment: Explore A Sex Shop
Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment! Each Friday, I alternate between The Weekend Sexperiment and Reader’s Request Fridays. In TWS posts, I offer a simple sex therapy homework assignment to try out over the weekend. Some experiments are geared towards couples, but others are suitable for single folks. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have a certain topic you’d like to see covered. If you’re interested in counseling, call (415) 658-5738 or visit my Appointments page to schedule a consultation.
This week’s assignment is to visit a sex shop and explore the different kinds of products for sale. You can go alone or with a partner if you’re in a relationship. Look for a shop that is clean, well-lit, welcoming, and run by sex-positive people. Co-ops or stores run by women are usually good bets. Places like Good Vibrations, Smitten Kitten, The Pleasure Chest, and Babes in Toyland are great examples. These types of stores typically have their products out on display and allow you to touch and turn on the merchandise. The point of going to a store this week is to try to engage with a different aspect of your sexuality. Sex toys can be highly evocative for many people, and can bring up a wide variety of feelings and judgments. Sex toys can bring up shame, disgust, anger, or paranoia, but they can also offer you a way to experiment and play.
Before going to the store, take a moment to think about your feelings about sex shops and sex toys. You may be a frequent visitor, or you may be mortified by the idea of going into one. What sorts of judgments do you have about the kinds of people who visit sex stores? How do you imagine you will feel when you walk in?
Once in the store, take some time to check out the merchandise. Notice which items evoke negative feelings and which items evoke positive feelings. Look for one particular item that catches your attention. It doesn’t matter if you would use it or not; it just has to be a product that piques your curiosity. Pick up the item (if possible), and take a good look at it. Notice what material it is made out of. Locate any buttons or switches. Feel the weight of it. Notice if it evokes any particular feelings for you. If you’re feeling brave, ask one of the salespeople to describe the item and what it is recommended for. You don’t need to buy anything, but try to notice if there are any products that you could see yourself taking home and experimenting with.