Why Are Young Millenials Are Having Less Sex Than Any Other Generation?
A recent study published by the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that people born in the 1990s (“younger Millenials”) are two-and-a-half more times as likely to be virgins at age 18 than the previous generation. They also found that younger Millenials have fewer sexual partners than any other generation in recent history.
The survey findings have befuddled a lot of people, especially since Millenials have a reputation of being Tinder-obsessed “hook-up culture” participants.
If apps and the internet have made it so much easier to find partners, then why are younger Millenials not having as much sex as their elders? In my sex therapy practice, I’ve seen evidence of a number of potential factors
There’s more pressure to succeed
Millenials grew up in a recession. They’ve struggled to find jobs, and have had to live at home for longer. As a result, many Millenials are more concerned with having accomplishments, looking good on paper, and making money than they are in having real-life experiences. They may also not have the time or the money for dating.
There’s more risk
Young Millenials have had to deal with more sexual consequences than any other generation. When I was growing up, people could start rumors that you were sexually active. These days, young Millenials have to deal with cell phone hacks, Snapchat screenshots, and cyberbullying. Having details of your private life shared is always a painful experience, but the level of risk young Millenials face is terrifying.
Porn is easier
I’m not anti-porn, but there’s no denying that the proliferation of porn has had intense consequences on young Millenials. Millenials were the first generation to grow up with the internet and cell phones, so porn has always been readily available. I’ve had so many clients tell me that porn is faster, easier, and more accessible than sex with a real person. Porn is also a passive experience, so you don’t have to worry about communication, feelings, or performance pressure.
There’s a huge fear of failure
Personally, I’ve seen more performance anxiety from young Millenials than from any other age group. The combination of easily-accessible porn (which leads to unrealistic expectations) and a greater emphasis on success has made Millenials more concerned with the performance aspect of sex than the enjoyment of it. Young Millenials are obsessed with the idea of technical perfection when it comes to sex. So many of my clients report that the joy has been sucked out of physical intimacy.
Dating is hard
Even though apps like Tinder are popular, they haven’t made dating any easier. My clients complain that Tinder has made them pickier. They’re judging potential partners solely on physical appearance, without getting to know any of that person’s other qualities.
Forming relationships is harder
Many of my Millenial clients report that they have difficulty forming romantic relationships. Being on cell phones all the time has made it harder to connect in person. A lot of Millenials feel awkward interacting with people in real life, which of course, would make it difficult to have sex with them!
It’s important to note that there may be some positive aspects to these findings. Delaying sex is not always a bad thing. It can lead to stronger relationships. It may be a sign that women feel more empowered to say no, or that more people are aware of the notion of consent. Plus, I’m of the belief that there are no “rights” and “wrongs” when it comes to sex. People can have as much or as little sex as they feels is right for them. We all get to make our own decisions.
Ultimately, if Millenials are being thoughtful about their decisions and feel confident in their choices, I don’t see any problem with the trend. But as a sex therapist, I do have concerns about the intensity of performance anxiety and difficulty in forming personal relationships that I see in my clients.