Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame
Did you grow up in Purity Culture?
Purity Culture teaches that it’s important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable.
It also has a lot to say about dressing modestly (especially for girls), pleasure being sinful, and masturbation being evil.
In this week’s episode, we’re breaking down the effects that Purity Culture can have on your sex life, and what you can do to counteract it.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What Purity Culture is, in case you didn’t grow up within it.
- Incredibly powerful stories from our community about how Purity Culture affected their relationships with their bodies and with sex.
- If Purity Culture had a negative impact on you, you’ll learn 8 steps for rewriting your story and reclaiming your sex life.
- How to identify your own values for your sex life.
Step 1: Recognize that it’s not your fault
Step 2: Know that you’re not alone
Step 3: Identify the messages you received from Purity Culture
Step 4: Identify which beliefs are serving you and which are blocking you
Step 5: Identify the beliefs you WANT to have about your body and sex
Step 6: Remind yourself of your desired goals and beliefs
Step 7: Change the narrative around sex
Step 8: Share your story
Here’s a glance at this episode:
[1:34] Disclaimer: What this episode is NOT about
[2:43] The part of Purity Culture that we agree with
[4:20] The messages we each received about sex growing up
[9:08] What exactly is Purity Culture?
[13:22] Why Purity Culture focuses more on women than men
[14:15] How Purity Culture can affect your sex life
[27:37] Trigger warning for abuse
[30:42] Why Purity Culture isn’t effective
[38:53] How to counteract the negative impact of Purity Culture
[39:34] Step 1
[40:52] Step 2
[42:03] Step 3
[42:30] Step 4
[44:08] Step 5
[45:24] Step 6
[46:53] Step 7
[47:30] Step 8
[49:32] Listener question: How do I explain Purity Culture to my partner who didn’t grow up with it?
[50:37] Listener question: My husband is the only person I’ve been with. How do get past wondering what else is out there?
[52:50] Listener question: I see Purity Culture as something that harmed me deeply, but my husband thinks it’s a good thing. What should we do?
Links & resources
- Masterclass: Masturbation Masturclass
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Take a screenshot of this episode and tag us on Instagram @vanessamarintherapy and tell us your biggest takeaway! We can’t wait to hear what steps you’re going to take to talk about sex with your partner.
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Today we are talking all about Purity Culture, which teaches that it’s important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable.
In this week’s episode, we’re breaking down the effects of purity culture on your sex life, and what you can do to counteract it.
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