The VM Sex Therapy Interview Series: Filthy Dirty Plus A Giveaway!
Today I’m sharing a very special interview with Victoria of Filthy Dirty.
Victoria and I “met” on Twitter and have had some awesome conversations about sex and sexual products. I loved her approach and outlook, and knew that I had to interview her here on the blog. Fortunately, she was more than willing to answer my multitude of questions!
How did Filthy Dirty get started?
About eight years ago, I was at the age when all of my friends were getting engaged and settling into serious relationships. I had this one friend in particular who got engaged and a few of us wanted to go in on a fun, sexy gift for her Honeymoon as her bridesmaids.
The only problem was all the things we saw in a few stores we visited – and even online – were just not right. Rather inappropriate, really. The products were poor quality and what’s worse it that the packaging had women tied up or ½ dressed on the box. It just wasn’t sexy. I would even call it kind of offensive.
I wouldn’t feel good giving those items as a gift and I couldn’t imagine how awkward it would feel to receive any of them either.
I had a retail background – coming from Federated Department Stores – so I thought that there might be a need to fill in that market. It took some time to pursue the business full-time, but I took the initial steps about 2 years ago to launch the store and thankfully, it’s been an overall positive experience!
What’s the story behind the name?
I wanted something that was playful – yet something that still made an impact.
I love the name mostly because once you’re on the site, you see there is nothing filthy or dirty about it at all. It’s very tongue-in-cheek.
There are so many sex toy retailers out there. Why should someone choose to shop at Filthy Dirty?
When you visit other stores – either in person or online – there are so many options. For example, even just looking at another store and searching for lubricant can pull up over 200 choices!
Choices can be great, but they can also be overwhelming. And it’s important to know that not all lube is created the same! And that’s part of why this store was even created in the first place. We’re choosy – as I think any shopper should be.
I value someone spending their hard-earned money in the store, but its also important for us to educate the consumer about the higher quality products that are attainable at the same price point.
There is a very edited assortment at Filthy Dirty. We don’t offer 35 different brands of lube because we simply don’t think they are all great options. We carry fewer than six brands. Why? Because we only stock labels that care about sexual wellness and have developed quality products based on that belief.
We look for quality ingredients and packaging and most of all we have to believe the product works. Every product we carry can be considered a scrutinized suggestion for our shoppers. You don’t have to know a lot about the industry or safety standards to shop with us, we’ve done the work you.
Filthy Dirty makes it very clear that it only carries “body safe” toys. I don’t think people understand that most sex toys out there aren’t safe.
Most people don’t think about what their sex toys or their lubricants are made of. And I get it – it’s something you buy, use momentarily and then put it away til next time. But one of the reasons I thought it was so important to launch this boutique was for that very reason.
Most everyone at this point knows its important to pay attention to the food they eat. There is a conscious effort to eat higher quality food and take measures to avoid ingesting toxins. But the sex toy industry is just one of the next horizons for this collective consciousness.
The problem is that the sex toy industry is largely – and scarily – unregulated. This is why a lot of products have “for novelty use only” on the packaging.
The sad truth is, is that manufacturers do not have to list the chemicals or materials used to make these products. They don’t even have to report truthfully on the packaging because they hide behind the “for novelty use only” label. What’s especially scary is that some “phthalate-free” claims on packaging is just a lie – even from some of the large, more mainstream companies. Filthy Dirty was launched for people who want to protect their health while exploring or enhancing their sexuality.
It’s important to be a little choosier because these items are going to sensitive places! There are going in sensitive places as well. There is a lot of information on my site regarding parabens (often found in lubricants), phthalates (often found in lower-quality sex toys), and there is information on quality materials. Ideally, people should buy items made from non-porous materials. Consumers who come to Filthy Dirty can shop knowing that every product we stock and recommend is vetted and is fully Body Safe. Which is why we exclusively sell health conscious items as per our Body Safe Promise.
How do you choose which brands to sell? Of those brands, how do you choose which specific toys to carry?
Throughout the year, there are several buyers’ markets for intimate products that I attend. I get to meet and speak with the designers, chemists and even the company’s’ owners.
You can learn so much about a company and it’s philosophy by meeting the decision makers and the people behind the brand! There are plenty of brands in the market that are not interested in wellness, quality or innovations. They say there are – but they are not. We don’t stock those brands. 
What are your top 5 bestsellers?
There are changes from month to month. But overall our top best sellers are:
Mimi Classic – Small, powerful, its an overall great pick. Its perfect for solo use but its also small enough to use with a partner.
The Hitachi Magic Wand – It’s very powerful and is more or less legendary. There’s a lot to be said about the Magic Wand and we have a review on our blog that goes into more detail. It’s designed as a full body massager and it sells very well.
We-Vibe 4 – This is the most innovative and best selling couples toy in the world. This product has been updated and re-designed more than four times. The constant refinement makes it a solid choice.
Tenga Flip – The Flip is really popular! It’s not designed to compete with a woman’s anatomy. It’s simply made to provide new, exciting sensations for men during masturbation. It’s been featured and overwhelmingly positively reviewed by nearly every tech or men’s blog on the web.
Leaf Touch – The Leaf line is made in Canada and places the utmost value on being body safe and eco friendly. The packaging is modern and appeals to shoppers who love “green” products.
What do you think are some common misconceptions about sex toys?
It’s hard to say because there are so many people out there and the truth is that over 40% of Americans have a sex toy in their home.
I think some people are timid when it comes to their sexuality or it may be something that they give in to but then feel bad about.
Thankfully, I think the overall dialogue on sex toys is becoming far more positive and mainstream. As people begin to see themselves as whole beings, who need fulfillment on many levels, the idea that sex toys are for swingers or hyper-sexual couples is just dying out.
Whether people are part of a couple or not, sexuality is an evolving piece of our humanity. And as we grow and change and our relationships grow and change we sometimes need or desire new experiences to feel fulfilled. Sex toys and other sexual wellness products are an easy way to open that conversation with your partner or to try something new just for yourself.
I’m very curious to know what kinds of conversations you wind up having during dinner parties, when you tell someone you’ve just met that you’re in the sex toy business!
I find people I meet socially are very surprised when they ask me what I do for a living. I don’t think I fit the mold of what someone who owns a sexual wellness business is “supposed” to look like. And that initially throws people. But I can also see a lot of curiosity on their face immediately. And then the questions and stories come!
I have a corporate background, I’m a wife, a mother. I think that makes me relatable. And, I agree – I can relate! I get it. I know that this is inappropriate dinner talk. But I also know that this is the most fun kind of dinner talk and anyone who gets a chance to indulge in it when they meet me usually tries to. And that’s fine too!
At the end of the day, what I have seen as a common thread is that everyone is looking for reassurance, to be told they are “normal.” Everyone who has asked me a question, confided in me or just wanted to talk about their private situations ultimately wants feel confident and fulfilled. And as far as I’m concerned, if Filthy Dirty can help with that, then we’ve done our jobs!